how do i overcome my fear of being a single mother?

i don't usually post stuff like this but it's been on my mind a lot lately and i just need somewhere to put it

i grew up with only my mom. she worked constantly, she sacrificed a lot, and she still showed up for me in every way that counted. my dad was just absent. and even now trying to have any kind of relationship with him as an adult is exhausting because he doesn't take responsibility for anything, ever. it's like talking to a wall.

so because of all that my biggest fear, like genuinely my deepest fear, has always been ending up as a single mom. and it's not just because of how growing up without a father shaped the way i see men and relationships. it's also because i'm a Black woman and i am very aware of the weight that comes with that specific stereotype. i've worked so hard, in school and in my career, to build something for myself beyond what i came from. the idea of all of that being overshadowed by a narrative i've been trying to outrun my whole life genuinely scares me.

and here's the thing that makes it complicated when i was little all i wanted was to be a mom. that was the dream. but now i'm 31 and it just feels (heavy?) almost impossible to picture in a way that doesn't terrify me. which is wild because i actually know i'd be good at it. i've worked with kids and young people for years in different settings and that part has never felt like a question. it's everything around it that feels impossible.