Is anyone elses therapist just useless?

I've been getting "Autism Therapy" (What kind? Who knows! Nobody tells me anything ever, but they expect me to ask about everything, including things that I can't know of, which is impossible, because asking every possible question in a procedure of exclusion would take more time than I or anyone else alive today has left on this planet) for a while now, probably over two years in total with a break in between, and I honestly haven't benefitted from it at all whatsoever. Every bit of positive change that has occurred in this time frame was facilitated by me, in my free time, independently from anything the therapist has done with me.

Her response to issues like "My parents are egotistical, incurable and extremely stubborn ableists" is always something along the lines of "You've got to deal with that yourself!" or "Then leave!", which does nothing for me, because I can't leave, and I can't change my parents on my own, so that just makes my depression worse. She always gives me the feeling that I'm the problem, and that I'm an alien who doesn't belong into this society, which, isn't that the sort of negative thought that therapy is supposed to help get rid of?

By all means, I completely understand that no therapist and no kind of therapy is some sort of magical spell that can immediately alleviate any sort of issue I have, but still, I was expecting more than "Deal with it" from a supposedly qualified so-called professional.

Not to mention, of course, that I'd way prefer a male therapist, but my parents are infatuated with this one because she reinforces their ableist beliefs, so I can't tell them, because doing so would hurt their precious NT egos.