ADHD, Polyamory, Self Regulation

Hey all, I have been feeling maybe too active in this sub and I'm embarrassed to be posting again lol. But I'm interested in fielding answers to this: how do you approach ADHD, emotional regulation and polyamory? AudHD and autistic babes are welcome to comment, too.
I recognize and understand that I need to be responsible for how I react to my own emotions, but I also have an emotional regulation disorder. I don't lack emotional intelligence, there's just a slightly higher barrier and I need a step stool.*

I do feel that this is polyamory specific, as there are greater chances of misunderstandings, needing to communicate about emotional topics, and more emotional flexibility generally.

These things have been my step stool:

- Partners being open to check-ins, even if we don't use them.

- Planning ahead and scheduling, even if it feels difficult or I crave spontaneity.

- Proactive communication. Change is harder for me to process in the moment. A little extra time goes a long way if it can be helped.

- Co-regulation. I can't be pushed to communicate when I'm emotionally flooded, it'll be hyperverbal word vomit. Physical touch and reasonable reassurance helps (I just need to hear "I love you" usually)

What kind of tools do you use? Do you find emotional regulation challenging? Do you also cry a little when your feelings are kind of big and vulnerable and just want to commiserate?

*There's never any excuse for unsafe or extremely reactive behavior. Meltdowns don't need to be tolerated.