Can someone help with this confusion?

First of all: I don't know how relevant or common the question is in this community. I just felt this question can mostly be asked here.

I am a 24 years old AMAB who enjoys wearing dresses at home. Sometimes it's more comfortable than my regular clothes. But since then, I find myself wishing I had the correct body shape for those dresses. This wish became more and more intensive, and when I found an alternative solution for one part, the next came. Nowadays I found myself wishing I literally had a female's body. In the last days I imagined myself as a person after a transition.

Although it was scary thought, I didn't feel any difference between that scene and the scene I continue my life without transition. My whole week was about what do I really want. It feels like I both want to have a female's body and to have a male's body. I don't refer to myself as a trans person but now I... I don't know how can I describe it correctly. Sometimes I don't like my body as a male's body. Sometimes I would like to change it, but then I think about what if I will regret it and the change would be irreversible? What if people would bully me? If I would start hating myself? I don't like look in the mirror but I can't help but wonder that it's maybe just a phase for me. My mind is full of this dilemma. I cannot escape from the thought that there is only one choice and if I choose one of the two, I must give up the other.

I don't know why do I feel this, and how should I see myself. I don't know if I am trans or it's just something else. This week I really started thinking who am I really and how do I want to live my life; as a man or as a woman? And I cannot answer this question even to myself. Is it possible that I just have some mess in my mind and should talk to a therapist about it? Or this is more than a simple confusion?

It's basically difficult for me to describe feelings, so my apology if I didn't tell enough about these feelings. I feel that I cannot figure out the answer by myself, but I am too afraid to talk to anyone about this in person. That's why I ask this question here where I feel less risky to write about this. Thank you very much if you can answer.

P.S: Sorry for the grammar mistakes, english is not my first language.