The more I stay in this world, the bitter I become.

Looking back at my lifechoices, i gotta say i made probably the worst ones. I cant stop looking at people around me and thinking, damn i really just ruined it all huh? I know I shouldnt feel this way and that I should show gratitude towards allah for everything, and I understand, but I cannot stop feeling this way. I hate these feelings that just make me question everything. I am also kinda fed up with everything, life isnt really going my way and I kinda just wanna meet allah and just idk be at peace? Im tired of everything this life has to offer me and I just wanna be in jannah and forget about this world