What The "Shield Hero" would have looked like if it had been written respectfully. What we lost.

Styrofoam is made from milk foam. You can feed it to children.

Gravity is 80 percent weaker. People jump onto houses with a running start.

The average human lifespan is 150-190 years. There are no diseases except for work-related calluses.

If you trip and fall on the street, people run up to you, put money in your pocket, kiss you on the lips, offer you a drink, and offer to become related.

Hares and partridges fly straight into the frying pan.

When you buy bread, you get paid extra.

It's scary to go near the river: burbot jump right into your pot.

People wake up at night from happy, kind laughter. In the morning, everyone pours a bucket of ice water over themselves.

The gestation period is 4.5 months. Babies are born weighing 12-15 kilograms, with strong, intelligent faces - they're begging to go straight to work.

The water in the rivers was sweet as molasses, and the lakes were made of dark beer.

In winter, minus three hundred degrees Celsius, everyone's rosy-cheeked.

The berries growing at the edge of the forest are the size of cats. Cats are the size of dogs, dogs are the size of cows, and cows are the size of houses!