Family funerals...

I only went NC recently, within the past month and a family member happened to pass away during this time. I didn't know her well, or have a relationship with her much at all. I honestly feel kind of bad that this news didn't make me sad. I have a weird relationship with death where I feel pretty numb for years and then randomly grieve everything all at once.

Anyway I was invited to the funeral but I decided not to go. Knowing how gossipy my family is, going or not going was going to stir the pot and I felt safer staying home this time around. It got me thinking though, about future funerals, maybe with family members I was closer to, or my own parents.

I'm curious what others have done in these situations who maybe have been NC for a while. I'd appreciate any advice. I feel some level of shame tempting to eat me up for not going to this one.