Why does an all loving God punish people who commit s*icide

I love Allah. I’m a Muslim 17F, im neurodivergent and have been struggling with depression for quite a while and the only thing which has stopped me from going for the worst case scenario was the idea of the after life

I don’t get why God wants to punish people who have been suffering their whole lives

Self exit is something done when ur at ur lowest and most desperate point so why?

This is coming from a place of curiosity rather than hating on God’s orders