I’m scared of the subjunctive! How will I ever learn it?

Guys, I’ve been learning the language they speak in Spanish countries. I don’t want to be racist, but as an ally of Hispanics I believe the language is officially called “Espanish” (you probably don’t know this, but in that language you can’t have a word starting with s followed by a consonant. It has to instead start with ”es”, and for this reason I believe the language is called “Espanish”).

Cualquier quien (anywho), I just think the subjunctive is too hard for me :(

It’s so difficult! I can conjugate everything normally, but God forbid you put a que after para and now suddenly I must say quiera instead of quiero! This shit will take an insurmountable amount of time, seriously. Nevermind the fact that I don’t know the word for toenail, itch, drywall, outlet, Tupperware, skin cell, lid, cork, werewolf, or any of the other million words I’ve heard 20 times in my life but will probably take years to learn in Spanish… THIS subjunctive bullshit is what’s actually hard!

I quit. Para Que I fucking quita.