Jealousy

Jealousy

I realized yesterday that part of the reason I'm jealous of our third at times is I want equality in the play session. We aren't in a poly relationship with her, but my husband sees her weekly. When she's here, the 3 of us play, though it's definitely more focused on him and her. When he goes to her house, I don't go.

Yesterday we played with a regular third for about 7 hours. ( It's a once a week play date. She was here from 8:30-3:30. Yes, we break for lunch and hot tub, but there is still flirting, touching, hugging, and kissing), very clearly 3/4s of the time my husband was eating, fucking and kissing her, the other time was me. She is more bold in bed and will reach for him, pull him in for a blowjob or kiss. I tend to not want to get in the way or be too needy. She was also our guest, so I didn't want to offend her by demanding more me time.

I realized, since they play together more than she plays with me, it would be good to give them some alone time, an hour or two, at the beginning, then ask for equal play when we are in a group. Or leave them alone for the last hour so they have their lover time.

Yesterday, after a session, they both were tired, so were going to take a nap. I was going to the hot tub. I said, "Come get me when you're ready to play again." When they woke up he sent a text to come in, he had a load for me 😊. I immediately sent a text, "Wait for me to start, please." I closed up the hot tub, walked into them actively fucking. I was hurt. In his fuck fog he didn't process my request to come get me to mean don't play again without me. He sent the text and put his phone down, so he missed my request.

I honestly don't mind him being with her, but I do mind my feelings popping up and messing with an otherwise fun time.

Has anyone else felt this? How do I turn my occasional jealousy into a more positive emotion?

I have my play friends and my husband encourages my play and even overnight visits.