I feel more depressed since starting recovery don’t wanna leave my room

Lost my period June 2025, started quasi in Jan and all in March. I probably eat 8k calories a day. I’ve gained weight. I try to romanticize recovery and make it fun, but I wake up bloated/puffy and irritable.

I’m depressed, my mom says “you used to be on top of the world a couple months ago” but that was my peak eating disorder, where I was severely underweight. To be honest I felt great..

When will the food noise stop. Im back to a healthy weight and have fat on my body but I can’t eating. I’m afraid my period comes back I’ll relapse because I won’t have an excuse to eat bad anymore

Recovery just makes me feel fat and ugly. I know it worth it in the end.. but I’ve just been eating sugar and junk it’s all I’ve been craving. I try to eat balanced but i end up eating all I can see and it makes me not want to leave the house and hide in my room.