Why can I suddenly imagine the future I want

I was never able to imagine myself in 5 or more years. I didn't thought much of it only when the adults were asking but I always said the thing that would satisfy them: Graduate from college, get married and have kids. Of course I didn't really feel it. It was just string of empty words.

It's been a year since I realized that I'm not cis but I didn't want to accept it. I was under the impression that all I have to do is to wear a binder, masculine clothes and later a packer; and it will solve all my troubles. Of course that's not the case and I had to admit that to myself last Friday when I had a dream that I was getting top surgery. Weirdly the moment I did that and started to identify as a transmasc even if it's been just a week something changed. Suddenly I can imagine my ideal future. Heck not only I can image it I daydream about it. It's suddenly so easy that it's freaking me out. I'm trying to find an rational explanation for it but I can't. I even tried imagining myself in the future except I "continued being a girl" and once again I see nothing. But when I try seeing myself as trans it's so easy and real that I feel like if I reached out my hand I could touch my theoretical future self. It's so strange and the more I think about it the more the pros of just presenting masculine are turning into cons. Like yeah I can bind and wear as many button up shirts as I want but at the end of the day when I take it off and look in the mirror all I see is just a feminine person who's not comfortable in their body and wishes puberty didn't happen. Everything stays the same...

I'm think I know what I have to do to be finally happy but I'm to scared of...everything