The Race Card

So I'm not really sure how to start this. Im a white male (37yr) and married to a black female (35yr). We often run into issues in our marriage related to personal problems, but every so often the race card comes up. it usually comes into the place where I'm seen as entitled. She will state I'm the white man who gets whatever he wants and does whatever he wants. Now I admit I'm selfish at times and there's an issue where she doesn't always have a space for herself. As a side note, we have two kids (2 boys) age 7 and an 8 month old. Things can be very stressful in regards to life at home. she often will have to take up the slack while I'm at work. I never claim to be the best husband in the world, in fact things are not always going that great. As another side note, I also suffer from a mental disability. She is very patient and understanding overall and I am lucky she is with me . I didn't think race would ever be an issue. we've been together for 14 years. Our and families have integrated very well And we certainly enjoy the contrast if you know what I mean. I don't mean to be crass but I've always had a thing for black females and being married to one is definitely what I wanted. so I'm not really sure what to do. I don't want to downplay anything . I love her race and culture. I just don't like at times the fact that I'm white turns into a detractor. I feel like this is something I can't overcome.