Why are (some) men so defensive about porn?

Bring up any statistic that makes porn look bad, mention that you don’t like your boyfriend watching it, say it impacted you negatively—literally anything and you’re flooded with negative feedback calling you insecure or a puritanical conservative. Absolutely no nuance is permitted in these discussions.

The only way to get around this is if you mention how it negatively affects men in particular: erectile dysfunction, declining birth rates, etc… All to say, essentially, “If you watch porn, you might not get to have as much REAL sex!”. They don’t care about how it impacts their partners, the actresses in the films, or women globally. It seems the only point of contention is their ability to achieve/maintain an erection in a real life sexual scenario.

I suppose any reason to quit porn is a good one, but it’s extremely depressing to me that men refuse to see the harms the porn industry does to women everywhere. How can they just compartmentalize and forget about the rampant sexual abuse in the industry, the possibility that they’re watching someone’s real rape, or even just the way it makes their girlfriend feel? How can that not matter to someone? Why does it always have to be about your penis?

I’m terrified for the next generation of young women. We’ve already seen the effects on Gen Z, and porn has only become more accessible and normalized since. It just all feels so hopeless.