TW: Description of Assault - Looking for Answers

I apologize if the graphic nature of this post isn’t allowed - I am distraught and am looking for answers about a suspected assault. I live in an off-campus house with three friends / roommates. I (20F) and one other girl (22F) and two guys (23M). i was out drinking with the girl and guy (second guy was away) and our neighbors / friends - we all go to the same university. I unfortunately got way too drunk and completely blackedout. when I woke up I was still extremely drunk but I was immediately filled with dread - I was completely naked which was extremely weird because I’ve never slept naked and I never take off my clothes even when I’m drinking. I also saw (and im so sorry for including this - I’m so mortified) that beside my pillow and undisturbed was a small pile of poop?! the location makes no sense I have a tiny single bed - the headboard is against one wall and the right side is also against the wall. the location was at the top lefthand corner right next to my pillow. I also was lying on my back head on the pillow.

my parents were waiting for me to go home for the weekend so I threw my sheets in the shower and started cleaning them and left. I had to pretend to be normal all day but I felt like something had happened to me.

I messaged my female roommate and asked how I got to bed. she said I passed out at the bar they got me home and put me on the couch, and then male roommate (D) carried me to bed at some point. I called D twice and he didn’t pick up which was really weird because it’s a joke in our group he never misses a call even in an exam. i then messaged him on IG and he eventually responds and tells me he doesn’t know why I woke up naked because he carried me to bed and left. I kept asking him more questions and saying how weird it was and he basically said I must have done it and not remembered.

he’s been super mean to me since - like really dismissive and cruel when we all hangout. I really think he did something but I don’t know it’s making me sick.

please if anyone can help me figure out what happened id really appreciate it ive been feeling sick and having so many nightmares. I feel dirty and filled with dread.