Eating disorder recovery - help with maintenance calories

I'm currently recovering from an eating disorder and I'm trying to slowly get myself to eat at maintenance calories as a harm reduction strategy (I'm not ready to try intuitive eating yet as my dietitian keeps suggesting).

My stats are 157.5 cm and the last time I did my body fat scan in September I was at 20% and the last time I weighed myself I was around 49 - 50 kg. I also lift 3 times a week and do 30 minutes of incline walking (incline 8, speed 3). I've checked TDEE calculators but I'm so confused because some people report gaining weight at 1500 calories yet some people my height maintain at 1900? It's hard for me to know where to start since I'm terrified to weigh myself.

Any help would be appreciated, thank you!