M-37

I guess I am on the opposite end of many of you, but I couldn’t find a subreddit for “Abandoned Children”, and that’s how I feel.

I am the child that was cut off. Again.

Some background:

I am a cult survivor. Word of Faith Fellowship out of Spindale, North Carolina. They have been called one of the most dangerous cults in America. There have been dateline and inside edition specials. There have been FBI, SBI, and Interpol Investigations. You can google or YouTube them and get a ton of hits. I was deeply physically, mentally, spiritually, and sexually abused, on a daily basis, that whole time.

I was raised there from about 1992-2002. My Dad, Mom, and sister who is 18 months younger than me.

In 2002, my Mom got me and my sister out. My dad chose the cult over us and stayed. After a couple years of weekend visitation he started to pull away. I saw him less and less. From 2004-2016 I saw him maybe three times, though we did text and call. 

He remarried in the cult, and he and my stepmom had my half sister in 2014. I held her once as a baby. That’s the only contact I’ve ever had with her. He wouldn’t allow anymore, not even phone calls or letters. I asked repeatedly.

The last time I saw him was in 2016 when my grandfather died.

In 2018, the cult was on the media again. I left one Facebook comment. “I still have nightmares from my time there.”  Somehow the cult saw it.

So I texted him some pictures of my kids in August 2018 and the reply I got was “Your actions have destroyed our relationship.”

I didn’t hear from him for six years. It was like he died, but worse. There was no closure, only screaming pain. I used to drive home from work, screaming and crying in my car because it was the only place I could. I begged forgiveness, I begged him to talk to me again.

In 2024 he started sending the occasional text again. We had one phone call since then, but monthly hi how are you texts…

At the beginning of this year I started to really press I wanted to know my baby half sister. He agreed to let me send me a letter. I wrote it as carefully and neutrally as possible, fully expecting them to read it first.

I kept asking “Did you receive it? Did you get the letter?”

No was the answer

Then he stopped responding to texts at all. 

And again I’m asking to please tell me what I did wrong. And not a single reply.

And it breaks my heart again. I was hoping in time we could have a semi normal relationship…and no…

I’m depressed again. I am walking around with a lump in my throat. 

I just want my Dad.

Anyways

That’s my rant I suppose 

Thanks for reading. 

Heartbroken, Again