how do i stop tracking calories

hi guys - okay so i've been tracking calories for a long time but stopped for like 2 weeks because i was so extremely obsessive about it (eating 2300 cals). now i track again with slighty better intention and i'm not extremely obsessed anymore but idk how to stop again because deep down i know we are not supposed to track our meals (obviously). i am aiming for 2500 cals rn and i'm scared that i will not eat any snacks anymore, do extra small portions so it wont get over 2500 cals and just be very bad with food portions. for the time i stopped tracking, i was still weighing my food (for example 50g oats or when eating pasta i did weighed 80g) so my question is : is it okay to still weigh your food when not tracking anymore and how do i stop with tracking AND weighing without worrying i'm eating too much. i am so deeply scared of gaining too much weight and getting fat again. i already am gaining weight and i can see it and i feel so bad with myself. i'm in a healthy bmi its not like i NEED to gain weight technically so i'm just very scared of being big again :(