AITA for not inviting my maid of honor’s boyfriend to my civil wedding… even though she was supposed to literally MARRY us?

I (28 F) am getting married soon, and I’m in a situation that has me questioning everything about one of my closest friendships.

My maid of honor (also 28 F) and I have been best friends for years. Like, years. To the point where we always talked about how she would be the one to marry my fiancé and me at our civil ceremony, because all three of us were best friends. This wasn’t a casual idea- it was something we both genuinely envisioned for a long time, way before she ever met her current boyfriend.

Fast forward to now: we’re planning a very small civil wedding with a strict guest limit. I’m not even fully in control of the list- my mom is organizing it and there is very limited space. Because of this, we’ve had to make some brutal decisions, including not inviting family members and very close friends.

Here’s where it gets messy.

My MOH has a boyfriend. I don’t have anything against him being there in general- we actually were planning to invite him at one point. However, due to space constraints, he didn’t make the final list.

Important context:

• My fiancé does have a personal issue with this guy (long story short: This guy had an issue with my fiancé's best friend over my MOH and he just doesn't like him now).
• BUT that is not the reason he’s not invited. The reason is genuinely space.
• We are literally not inviting family members.

Also relevant: my MOH and I actually stopped speaking for about 2 years before this.

That fallout happened when:

• My fiancé and I broke up almost 2 years ago
• Then got back together a few months later
• At the same time I started grad school, moved out on my own, and was trying to save my relationship

During that time, I had less availability for her, and she took it very personally and blamed my fiancé. It turned into a whole thing, and we drifted apart.

I was the one who reached out to reconcile after getting engaged because I genuinely couldn’t imagine getting married without her in my life again- especially given how much we had talked about her being the one to marry us.

We made up, and during that conversation she made it clear that accepting her meant accepting her relationship. I agreed, of course- but to me, that meant respect, not “my boyfriend must be included in every single thing no matter the circumstances.”

Now to the current issue:

When I told her her boyfriend couldn’t be invited due to space, she:

• Said it felt like a lack of consideration
• Brought up everything she’s done for me
• Said that I was selfish, that I only want people to think of my (during MY wedding), and that I wasn't considering other people's feelings.
• Said she had made it clear her partner is part of the package
• Described it as fundamental that he be there with her at my wedding

At one point she implied she might just attend the ceremony to marry us and then leave.

After a lot of back and forth, I ended up deciding not to explain myself much more. I repeated that the decision was not changing unless space opens up, and that it is not personal- we are literallyy excluding even family

Finally she ended with she "understands" it’s a space issue, but she is not comfortable attending without her boyfriend, and that won’t change either.

So basically: The person who was supposed tomarry us might now not fully attend (or participate) because her boyfriend isn’t invited.

And I’m sitting here like…

I fought to have her back in my life.
I imagined this moment with her for years.
I am already making painful cuts to my guest list.

And now it feels like she’s willing to step back from all of that over this.

From my perspective:

• This is my wedding, it should be about me, and I’m doing the best I can with real limitations
• I feel like she’s making this about her and her relationship
• I feel hurt that she’s not just choosing to show up for me

From her perspective:

• She feels like I’m not honoring what I said about accepting her relationship
• She feels like I'm not considering anyone else (when that's all I've done and im exhausted). And again it's my wedding, and I honestly - don't feel like I HAVE to think of everyone. Shouldn't they be there for me and my fiance? Shouldn't people be just showing up for us?
• She sees attending without her partner as something she’s not okay with

So… AITA for not inviting her boyfriend and holding that boundary, even if it means my maid of honor might not show up the way we always planned?