I am always alone.

I'm 22 years old. I have no friends at all, and my family members are distant with me, I'm always alone. My life is just empty with how lonely I am, I have nothing to live for and there is nothing else I can do to change it. I really am going to die and want to die at this point. I've been in the same place for a year now, and Most people my age have had or currently have a girlfriend or boyfriend, but I've never even had girlfriend before. I am always alone in college while people have friend groups doing a lot of things together when I haven’t had a friend in years. I tried making online friends, but they didn't last. 

I try hard to make connections with people, but It just never happens. I'm don’t understand how people build them so easily while it takes a lot for me to make them. I thought i can try focussing on my interests to drown out my loneliness, but it didn't help. There is only so much you can take doing things alone before it starts to become not enjoyable anymore. I don't really know what I want out of life, and what I do want isn't possible due to this brain I have. I'm not sure what I'm even striving for anymore. 

I am not like everyone else, no matter how hard I try. All I do is basic things that I struggle with, like work and school, and then I go home to my walls check my phone to see if I have at least 1 notification but nothing. I have literally no life and nothing going on I feel envious when I see people together and all I have is just myself.