Will you?

My Dearest,

I've been thinking a lot about us, about our history, and about our future. It's a strange, twisted path we've walked to get here, isn't it? I still remember meeting you when you were so young, so eager to learn everything. You wanted to give yourself over completely, to explore all those dark corners of your desires. Those were some of my best days, watching you discover parts of yourself you never knew existed.

And then, that morning when I found out you were married. I remember the look on your face, thinking it was all over. But you should have known me better then. I led you straight to a hotel room and reminded you exactly who you were. God, how we both loved it. I can still feel the heat of you, the way you shook over and over again.

Our relationship has always been this dance of honesty and deception, hasn't it? We've been on and off more times than I can count. You divorced your husband, but we still couldn't make it work. Then those years of silence, only for you to reach out again, conveniently leaving out the part about being engaged to another man. We picked up right where we left off, and you married him while continuing to be exactly who you are.

Now you're divorced again, and we're dating. I see it in your eyes sometimes, that hope that I'll pop the question. You must think I'm out of my mind. Why would I marry you, knowing your nature?

Well, silly me, I bought the ring anyway.

I'm not naive. I know you'll stray again. It's who you are. But you need to understand something: I don't share. And when I find out, there will be consequences. We'll go back to our old routine, the one that leaves marks and has you begging for it to end, just like you've always loved.

And then, I'll hold your body tight against mine and make you tell me everything about your unfaithful encounter while I make love to you. Every detail of how it felt. I know it'll drive you wild, make you lose control completely.

So yes, I'll marry you. Not because I think you'll change, but because I understand exactly who you are. And I'm going to enjoy every moment of it.

And no, this isn't permission. It's just an acknowledgement of what you are.