Sometimes i think i am not able to have friendships

I know i am completly outing myself here because I have an open profile but i don‘t know what to to anymore. I have friends but i have sooo big trust issues and RSD (Rejcetion Sensitive Dismorphia) that I am not able to trust that my friends like me and when I get unsure I get pissed and push them away. I dont want to do that but I cant help myself. Can someone give me any advice 🥹