genuinely want advice

Ive posted on here a few times asking about diy and how to get it and all that stuff and i was genuinely hopeful for a while that id be able to get it but at this point i think i just have to accept that its not gonna happen. Its for a whole plethora of reasons, my mother wouldn't let me do it even if i could, i dont have my own source of income so i cant just do it without her knowledge, i can't get a job because of many many reasons, etc, etc, etc. Literally every force in the universe has converged to ensure that i can't get on diy.

So what do i do to cope in the meantime? I know im going to continue going through male puberty, i know everything is going to continue getting worse, i won't be able to get hrt via the nhs, my family likes to say they "support" my transition but they literally just don't and only say that because they like to seem progressive.

I mean things aren't too good already, i havent been able to properly attend school in a while and my exams are in a month so im not gonna pass them (the school hasn't even tried to send me work to do at home but it's too late now anyway), i'm kind of suicidal kinda not it's complicated. I'm not ginna waste my time continuing to list things you get the point that everything sucks and it's not going to get better.