avoidant autism

Disclaimer - my ASD may be a C-PTSD misadiagnosis but the symptoms are the same with a lot of overlap.

I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder pretty young. As an autistic female I struggle alot because I don't have the typical 'quirky', 'cute', far too open and brash kind. Mine makes it hard to relate to others or form connections. Almost every conversation makes me feel empty and detached from people. They seem empty to me, like there's nothing I can connect to. I'm aware I'm the common denominator and therefore the issue but its so lonely.

I seem normal, can be polite but I don't know how to form friendships. I come off as standoffish and shy. Basically im the kind of autistic where neurotypicals think you're just off and easy to bully. I feel lost, I just want a best friend so bad...