Anyway to make memories go away

I don't have a typical TTI story, but I was wondering if anyone knows ways to make certain memories go away concerning stuff from the past, (TTI stuff), coping mechanisms anything.

I was stuck in Hillsides Pasadena for 6ish months when I was 12-13 and I never really remembered much until now. I'm 18 and the memories came back via nightmares and flashbacks extremely randomly recently.

Feels like some wall got torn down in my brain. Either way it was a pretty awful medically coercive environment since I was "partially hospitalized" and a pretty defiant kid with mma training and a big frame, I didn't take shit from anyone, and they chose to screw with me a lot and never left me alone even to sleep. I just want the memories to go away, I literally can't go 2 hours without something in my brain coming up or other bad thoughts related to it. I revisited recently thinking I could just forgive things and whatever and it only made it worse. I don't want to go to therapy or get medicated because Ive spent a long time proving to my parents and doctors that I'm a well adjusted success story and whatever. I've never heard of anyone else who went to this place so I'm not gonna try and justify whether or not it was a bad stay or institutionally bad. I'm afraid this will stuff will stick with me forever and its already eroding my empathy and making me bitter. I'm not sure how it all just randomly came back to me, I thought I'd forgotten but obviously it did happen.

Again, any help with just being able to forgive and forget would be helpful. Thank you all