How do I know if I prefer findom with a soft GFE element vs GFE with a spoiling and a domination element

My issue with going for the findom one is that many of the dommes focus too öuch on the money and are often too harsh and not really into the more intimate, tender and emotionally "manipulative" parts of a softer dynamic.

GFE on the other hand is often not exciting for me cause many times, there is a lack of emotional control and domination aspects within the dynamic that sort of make it more exciting and bonding in a unique way.

so I guess its better to go for something that mixes the two. Now is the question, when should I go for the former and when for the latter? Maybe u r even able to deduce which one is likelier based on what I shared above?