Workplace situationship - did I read this wrong or give him grace?

I’m 26F, work at a biotech company in downtown Boston. There’s a 28M who joined our department a few weeks ago. We’ve had this slow-burn thing building:

•	Started with noticing each other around the office, he positioned himself facing me in common areas

•	Had a couple brief interactions (elevator, hallway encounters)

•	One vulnerable moment where he saw me upset outside the building and later gently acknowledged it

•	Eventually introduced ourselves properly at the coffee station

•	Had multiple casual break room conversations over a few weeks

•	He stayed 20+ minutes in a group conversation when he could’ve left after 5

•	I invited him to coffee to talk career stuff (he said yes immediately, very accommodating)

•	We had a really good hour-long conversation - deep, vulnerable, lots of chemistry, felt like we’d known each other forever

•	Exchanged numbers at the end

THE BUILD-UP:

After coffee (last Thursday), things seemed to be progressing:

•	He made comments that signaled his “type” with me in the room

•	Multiple people validated he seemed interested

•	We kept running into each other - Monday, then THREE separate interactions Tuesday

•	He remembered small details I’d mentioned (heritage, pets, preferences)

•	Made cute connections and playful comments

•	I was letting my walls down (I’m usually pretty guarded)

TUESDAY’S INTERACTION:

During a 10-minute conversation Tuesday morning, I casually invited him to a lunch-and-learn session Wednesday midday. His exact words: “I’ll let you know if I can.” I said “text me if you want to meet beforehand.”

WHAT HAPPENED WEDNESDAY:

•	No text from him

•	He didn’t show up

•	I saw him in passing once (his manager was with him)

•	Later saw him in the break room with coworkers during lunch - neither of us acknowledged each other (though we don’t usually when we’re with other people or just passing through)

MY REACTION:

I’m trying to figure out if I’m overreacting or underreacting. Part of me thinks:

Give him grace because:

•	He said “if I can” not “I will” - so no text = couldn’t make it (which is what he said would happen)

•	His manager is pretty demanding/controlling

•	We both keep things private when in groups/with friends - that’s our normal pattern

•	It’s only been like 12 hours, he might still reach out

•	Everything before this showed consistent interest

But also:

•	I opened up more than I usually do (I have avoidant attachment and rarely let people in)

•	Common courtesy would be to send a quick “can’t make it” text

•	I’m trying not to make excuses for someone not following through

•	We work together so I can’t just disappear or make it awkward

THE QUESTION:

Is “I’ll let you know if I can” a clear enough boundary that no text = no explanation needed? Or is basic courtesy still expected between… whatever we are? (We’re not dating, just coworkers who had coffee once and have obvious mutual interest)

I’m struggling between my avoidant attachment telling me to pull back completely (“we’re just acquaintances anyway”) and the fact that literally yesterday I was excited about this and everything seemed mutual.

Do I:

•	Wait to see if he reaches out with an explanation?

•	Text him myself to give him an opening?

•	Just let it go and see what happens naturally at work?

•	Accept this as a sign of his interest level and move on?

We work on the same floor so I’ll run into him regardless. I need to figure out how to navigate this professionally while also protecting myself emotionally.

TL;DR: Had great coffee date with coworker, multiple good interactions after, I invited him to something, he said “I’ll let you know if I can,” didn’t text and didn’t show. Trying to figure out if his phrasing means no explanation needed or if I should expect basic courtesy. Also navigating avoidant attachment telling me to shut down vs wanting to give benefit of doubt.