I'm just tired

I'm honestly just tired of living at this point. There's been a lot of really rough shit in my life and it's caused me to just completely lose any hope or motivation to live. like I just don't even want to eat anymore, I don't want to do anything. I have no interest in improving myself or my life anymore because I'm just plain tired. it's so pathetic. I feel so pathetic. I can't talk to my husband about this because he just gets upset. we have our problems too. I just want it all to end. I don't want to have to worry about what to eat tomorrow, what shirt to wear, what the weather is going to be like. I feel like it doesn't matter what I do, anyways. whatever I do is the wrong answer. I am the wrong answer. I feel like I was never supposed to be born. I am a hollow shell and a pathetic excuse of a human. I don't know who I am and I don't know how to even attempt to figure it out. right now the only thing keeping me here is my cat. but I hold some resentment towards my husband for getting her (we've only had her a couple weeks) because I feel shackled here. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I don't want to make any decisions. I don't want to choose any actions to take. it's all wrong and I'm tired. I hate myself so much. I feel like my only permanent characteristics are negative: pathetic, always ruining everything, lazy, stupid, dramatic, selfish. I could go on and on. I often feel like I would be doing the world a justice if I killed myself. I feel like I'm committing an injustice just for living because I'm such a horrible, pathetic person through and through. I'm so tired. I want my mom. I want my baby.