If judgemental people and bullies are insecure then why I am not bullying everyone?

I am insecure. Period. I have all kinds of insecurities and yet I find beauty and good parts in everyone. Is there an explanation to this?

For example:

My colleague who is a lesbian (and gets called a “boy” often as she kind of looks like on)and has shaved hair made fun of other people’s haircuts and quirks - obvious projection. Yet I somehow saw her as a cool person - even tho she kind of made fun of my hair once.

A rude girl - yes she is just always complaining at my work - always assumes that everyone is out to get her and hurt her. One time I made a mistake of taking her item (its easy as it was on the same table and similar things being used blah blah) - she immediately got defensive and assumed I tried to steal her “things that are better” and was defensive about it and it was just silly mistake of mine. Saying sorry kind of made her calm down but still… she didnt even know my intention and obviously projected.

Then why am I not like that? Im shy, judge my own appearance a lot, judge my own character and intelligence. Why I dont go around thinking everyone is stupid, ugly and just shit of a person? I usually just keep myself away from people because of my shy-ness / anxiety and feel inferior but not put them down as it never really works on making me feel better.

I have many more examples.

I wonder how it works for those people and what is the difference between mine and their minds.