newly pregnant and so so scared

Hi guys I’ve been lurking on this sub a lot whenever I get super anxious lol, and I know tons of you have a lot / more experience than me and just might be able to help ease some of my anxiety and stress and answer some of my questions maybe 🫶🫶🫶 this quite a long post so i am sorry about that😣

My bf and I are both 21, 22 later this year. Obviously because of how young we are this was… not planned. He hasn’t been the most excited but I have for the most part but I know he loves and cares about me but again what 21 year old man wouldn’t be nervous and scared so that’s not really a big deal at the moment.

What does scare me is that I don’t really know how far along I am, which i’ll find out at my first ultrasound appointment on April 21. But the fact that I don’t know is stressing me out so bad, I know it’s generally from your first day of your last period which for me was feb 11. So that’s would put me at about 8 weeks right now. but i was testing negative on March 17th and 18th and didn’t test positive until March 31st and after. Which means i could be less than 8 weeks because i struggled with an eating disorder all my life and have been in recovery the past 2 years, my periods have never been all that regular. Blah blah blah this all goes to say im fucking scared lol. I have finical support from myself and my family so it’s more so just health related. I’m scared.

I have cramping but no nausea, sore breasts and increased appetite, peeing all the time and waking up every 2 hours at night

I’m sorry for such a horribly long post I just don’t want to stress my mom or my boyfriend out and i’m crying all the time. I’ve worked with children professionally since i was 18 and have been pursuing education in early childhood development and education since. i am so so excited to be a mother. i am also so so scared of the possibility of miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, birth defects and alllll the other wonderful fears that come with it

Also: I was vaping and taking edibles up until i found out. I had vaped a couple times throughout the week after I had found out because I wasn’t sure what to do. I am absolutely mortified and disgusted with myself for doing so, and there is no excuse for it but addiction and lack of self control. I’m so scared I have fucked up myself and my baby.

Thank you to anyone who actually read my crazy thoughts zooming by put onto a post lol 🩷🩷🩷