Reconnect (f32) w a casual ex (m32); now he’s not responding

Had an ex casual lover come back into my life and I was lonely and allowed for him to visit me. He’s been a friend for 20 years; and I feel comforted with him. But he’s hurt me in the past when I wanted more and he just disappeared on me. It’s like I’d forgotten that. He was all sweet with me last night. And I knew.. with his late night texts the night before, he wanted intimacy with me. And I felt kinda empowered, like “sure , I could have him over and enjoy some closeness”. I’ve been single for a bit now and missing intimacy. So. Everything was consensual and I led the way of what we experienced together. We just made out. Nothing too serious. But today. My anxious attachment has spiked and I’m feeling really triggered not hearing back from him. I feel used. And I don’t even know what I want with him. That’s kinda sad, right? I mean. Even if he offered me a relationship at this point, I’m uncertain. He has a history of being with a couple other people I’ve known, he’s shorter than me (is that superficial)…. Ugh. He has some addictions. But. Mostly. I want to feel respected and valued and I feel like I just walked in to a situation where he wasn’t going to give me that. Why? Why wouldn’t he. My longtime friend. I allowed for “easy” enough access to my intimate heart… and poof. He’s gone. Help?! Why. Do I need to up my standards? I feel lonely and have experienced heartbreak. Feel like I need to stand up for myself here but also feel like I should just drop it and let his actions speak for themselves.