Expectations of being a dominant man has burned me out

I'm a guy to start this off with...

Idk why I'm posting here to be honest.. is this a rant? a vent? a cry for help or attention? I don't even know at this point, but I like this community and the people in it (been a lurker until now)

I've been with a fair share of people, whether that's being in a relationship, hookups, or other things. I'm bi. I've been with both women and men... but EVERYONE I have ever been with wants me to be dominant.

I've gone through a phase recently of looking for hookups, and while they've been great and I've started talking to a few lovely people because of it... I think I'm starting to realise how exhausted being the dormant one has made me.

when I think about being with someone in any capacity my brain is hardwired to act domisntly and I do, but a feeling of burnout is now always there. I've always had a submissive side, especially for women, but I've NEVER been given the chance to be the submissive, and I hate that.

I'm tired of taking control, making the decisions, telling people what I'D do to THEM and how THEY would pleasure ME. I just want to turn my brain off and fall into a loving dominant woman's arms as she praises me, calls me good boy, tells ME what I can do for HER and how I can pleasure HER, lets me act cutesy and love her in the submissive way I've honestly always craved, but I'm starting to realise that day might never come for me.. I'm "only" 21, but I genuinely don't see a future where I ever get to be anything other than dominant... and that's starting to hurt me.

anyway sorry for the ramble I just.. fuck I needed this to come out SOMEWHERE. and if you make it this far... thanks. genuinely much appreciated