i hate my younger self for being a theyfab

i fell for the ROGD every weird or ugly girl did during the pandemic, at the age of 12. i was the worst stereotypical theyfab. wearing skater skirts, thigh highs, fishnets, heavy eyeliner, so much pink, every single day.

but i would still seethe about being gendered as female like a retard. "why can't people just not assume, why do we live in a society, it's so unfair!"

i was decently dysphoric, though, as much as a theyfab can be. i cried and begged my parents to do something to get me on "low dose" testosterone (i fell for the androgyny psyop), which they obviously didn't do.

i don't blame them at all, if i was in their place i wouldn't have either. i kind of proved them right about it by girlmoding later on.

but i wonder if i had been born at a time where i could've avoided theyfab mental contamination, or if i had just been less of a fembrained retard, i could've been a youngshit.

i'm so angry with my younger self for fucking me over, even though i know realistically it wouldn't have been any better. now i'm 5'5" with a disgustingly feminine face, to the point where transitioning would be nothing but a humiliation ritual.