I’m thinking bad thoughts. This is a bad idea, right??

My fiancée, partner of 10 years cheated on me before we broke up. Emotionally for months, physically in the final month or two. I gave her every chance to stop and she wouldn’t. The last time I caught her texting him, she left me. ( this is after 3-5 times of me catching her. I gave her so many chances to stop…)

Since then she’s been so cold. She hasn’t said a word to me. She refuses to respond. This happened just over 3 weeks ago.

In the process, I lost my love, my best friend, my cats, our home. We lived there for 7 years. I had to go back to moms.

I’ve been working a ton. Planning on buying a car in <2 weeks, moving into a new apartment asap after. 3-6 months from now.

I still love her more than anything. But she immediately moved the guy she cheated on me with into our apartment. Literally within a day or two of me leaving.

With that said…

As soon as I get my apartment I’m looking for another lady. Somebody to bring into *my* home. Not necessarily to move on but.. I dunno if I want her feeling jealous or what.. but like. She did the same. Only this time it’s not cheating.

I would make sure the lady isn’t looking for a serious, long term relationship. I wouldn’t use her like that. But at the same time it feels like I’m… using her. 😞

This is a bad idea. Right? I don’t know.. I’m very emotional right now. Very manic. Please help me.