Am I crazy or was there just a video on YouTube on the urbanshade account titled “I have killed myself” or something?

I know there is a pg rating but I don’t know how else to say this. There were comments on it so I know people have seen it but as I clicked on it and tried to reply to a comment YouTube made me resign into my account. Can someone if they saw the video explain what was said? I saw it was an hour long or so and Zeal was just crying from what I saw.