I feel like the worst version of myself at home.

I dislike being at home. I am a university student that comes home during the break. I love my family and all they have done for me but living with them makes me hate myself. When I am at home, everything I do is wrong or not enough. Lazy. Selfish. Ungrateful. I start to believe this is actually my true self and I feel like I start to lose myself. Sometimes I just crash out or am angry for the smallest things which normally don't bother me. I don't know why I get so agitated and frustrated with them even when I know they are trying their best for me. I am scared that what I am at home is the real me and that I am just faking it with others. When I am away from home I feel the happiest. I know my parents have sacrificed so much for me and want the best for me. But it's so suffocating. I feel so small at home. I hate who I become when I am at home.

Sometimes I wish for the warmth of a family. A safe place I can hide and run to when I feel sad. Getting hugs and told everything will be all right. But that is just in the movies and not in real life. I feel selfish wishing so much from them when I know they grew up with worse conditions then me.