He kissed me, left me for his ex 3 days later… 6 months later I still can’t fully let go

6 months no contact, he went back to his ex (his first love) small movement now – I need real motivation

Post:

I need genuine advice/motivation because I feel stuck between what I’ve experienced and what I’m seeing right now.

Full timeline:

On 17 Oct 2025, we both confessed we liked each other.

On 18 Oct, we kissed.

On 21 Oct, he suddenly texted me that everything is over.

No closure, no proper explanation. Just ended.

Later, I found out he was “confused” and had feelings for his ex for a long time. He went back to her almost immediately. They are now apparently “happy” and in a long-distance relationship.

What I still struggle to understand is this:

👉 if he was truly in love with his ex, how could he kiss me just a week before? That part never made sense to me.

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After that (last 6 months):

These 6 months were honestly the hardest phase of my life.

•	I was mentally at my lowest

•	I had no clarity, no closure

•	Most people I trusted distanced themselves

•	I went through everything alone

But at the same time:

•	I didn’t stop my life

•	I got a job

•	I focused on my studies

•	I topped my class in my B1 German exams

•	I kept pushing myself even when I was breaking inside

So I’ve genuinely grown a lot as a person.

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Current situation:

We are still in the same group, so I see him text almost every day.

•	We haven’t had a proper conversation in 6 months

•	I haven’t seen him in person for more than 2 months

•	I live only 30 minutes away from him

So it’s like:

👉 not fully in my life

👉 but not fully gone either

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What changed recently:

Yesterday, for the first time in 6 months, there was some movement.

He sent a picture in the group of a t-shirt saying “did you manifest me / 11:11.”

I casually replied with an old picture of the same t-shirt I had clicked months ago.

For the first time in 6 months:

👉 he reacted to my message

👉 he replied normally

👉 even sent a second reaction (sticker)

It wasn’t something big, but after complete silence, it felt like a shift.

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My behavior now:

•	I didn’t overreact

•	I didn’t chase

•	I didn’t message him personally

•	I didn’t attach meaning to it

I’ve also:

•	stopped checking his profile

•	deactivated Instagram

•	stopped asking people about him

I’m focusing on myself, my studies, my life.

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My feelings:

I’m still in love with him.

But not in a way where:

•	I’m begging

•	I’m chasing

•	I’m stuck

It’s more like:

👉 I feel it, but I’m still living my life

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What I believe:

I believe in manifestation because I’ve experienced real changes in my life when I was at my lowest.

I’m not trying to force him back or control anything.

My mindset is:

👉 if it aligns, it aligns

👉 if not, I trust something better is meant for me

But I won’t lie—after 6 months of almost nothing, it’s getting hard to stay consistent in that belief.

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My biggest fear (this is where I’m stuck):

Even if he comes back… what if nothing actually changes?

•	What if he’s still the same person who broke my heart?

•	What if he’s still inconsistent?

•	What if he hasn’t moved on from his ex?

•	What if he can’t love me fully?

•	What if I’m choosing someone who already showed me he can walk away?

That fear is what makes it hard sometimes.

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What I need:

I’m not looking for “move on” advice.

I just need:

👉 motivation to stay consistent

👉 clarity on how to handle this mentally

👉 how to not lose faith when things feel slow or contradictory

I know circumstances don’t matter, but right now it’s getting really hard to stay in that state.

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