I 22f ended up having sex with my closest guy friend 25m and now i feel absolutely horrible about it

It all started with me getting drunk a few times with my friend alone (I got drunk and he doesn’t drink), first time i was getting bit cuddly but he pushed me away since he didn’t want anything happening while i was drunk out of respect im assuming, then over the next few weeks from that things slowly started progressing intimacy wise and i was pretty comfortable with him like taking naps and cuddling nothing exactly sexual tho.

Then until recently, we had sex. it has been a total of three times by now. First time I guess you could say it was initiated from both sides, and the only reason i did it was cus i already had major feelings for him, i don’t know about him though. Second time it happened after i got home i texted him “I don’t want to do this anymore cus i don’t want to be that kind of person” he just simply agreed I was kindof expecting to ask why and the conversation goes on from there but he didn’t ask anything and just simply agreed it was also very late at night and he was almost asleep so the convo ended there. Despite making it clear that i don’t want to do this anymore that night he ended up trying again a third time and just before we were about to I said i don’t think it’s a good idea but he asked me if i wasn’t horny and ended up convincing me.

I feel horrible about it cus I don’t know if he feels the same way, I don’t know if it’s as big of a deal to him i feel like i’m literally being used. I’m not the type of person to ever do fwb i feel like im stuck in the middle i feel disgusted with myself from letting things get to this state. i feel like sleeping with a guy reduces my respect. I would want a relationship with him but i don’t know if it’s even possible (due to his family, religion etc.) and if he knows this for certain why would he even go in this direction. He hasn’t even had any sort of conversation about it. I feel like a fool and i don’t want to be used.I don’t want to end up in a situation with my feelings where i get hurt. I prefer either nothing or everything with one person. I just don’t knwo why he would do this to me. I really need help cus i can’t handle this situation anymore.