I was actually born in the wrong generation.

Before I begin, no, I'm not of those people who saw some old stuff on TikTok for the first time yesterday and now go around acting like insufferable smartasses.

So:

I was born in the earlier 2000s, but because of where I was born and also because of pure coincidence on top of that, I ended up having a pretty different childhood for my generation.

My best and almost only friends during earlier childhood were 4-5 years older since they were family friends, so we used to spend a lot of time together. Among other things, I used to enjoy playing co-op games on a DOS computer using one of those IBM Model M keyboards, also some other games on a C64 with that giant joystick. I also have memories of parties nearly a dozen people taking turns in games like Worms.

I can't relate to giving up after 3 seconds when you're stuck in something like classic Resident Evil and immediately looking up the solution on the Internet. I grew up with games that weren't insulting to your intelligence in which it was actually possible to get stuck and you just had to figure it out or at worst, ask people at school or pass them the controls next time they come over. I remember everyone sitting around that one legend who knew how to beat a hard level and cheering while watching in awe, but now, anyone and everyone can just open YouTube and watch some insufferable "content creator" posting an overly long video on how to bullshit their way through something.

Speaking of which, I remember when you had those extremely low-resolution videos which were up to a few minutes long at worst, but genuinely interesting, hilarious and just legendary, and not these overly flashy ones with erratic camera zooming, 1 subtitle word at a time, oversaturated colors, obnoxious screaming and an inflated length for the video to be eligible for ads because in the world today, you have all these pretentious "content creators", "influencers" and similar walking advertisements who are unqualified for everything they speak about, yet have a platform to spread blatant misinformation like the plague across the entire world in a matter of seconds and brainwash people because now, any and every idiot can just voice their worst opinions like that, and any and every idiot can use that for validating their own, so there you go, a recipe for disaster.

Anyway...

Do I know what VHS is? I used to go to a video rental store a minute on foot from my home with shelves full of what felt like every movie in existence. Paradise. I used to make and watch VHS recordings of stuff that aired on satellite TV I also have a few of those stacks full of DVDs I burned with, permanent marker labels on them. I remember sticking entire newspapers sheets to a Sony Trinitron which used RCA connectors. I have a 90s laptop from before the XP era, which was my first experience with a computer. It works like new to this day and I have installations of DOS games on one of those DVDs. I remember traveling and being mind-blown at the sight of Internet cafes and the idea of being able to catch up with stuff on the Internet while away from home.

Using AirPods because wireless is the future and getting rid of the 3.5mm jack? No thanks, I have Sennheiser headphones bought in the 90s on my head right now, using a 6.35mm adapter. My music taste? I went to a Billy Idol concert, for one. Bluetooth and streaming in a car? No, you had to find out which song it was which was a challenge in itself, then get it in MP3, save it to a USB stick and then finally save to the radio, which was in the form of a swapped one from a serious audio company, not a tacky iPad slapped to the dashboard. Speaking of which, chokes, manual gearboxes, pushing cars with a dead battery down the street in 2nd gear, no ABS, let alone traction control, and sometimes no power steering (not failed) and so on.

Seriously what the fuck is "You don't have Instagram? Everyone has it, you need to have it for dating because how else are people going to know if you're some kind of a weirdo, creep, maniac and serial killer, and how are people supposed to know what you do in life in order to find you interesting and worth talking to?" anyway? Maybe by having the bare fucking minimum of common sense instead of requiring an entire biography on fucking Instagram of all places? Maybe by actually, you know, fucking asking me like a normal person instead of just seeing my entire biography? Why the fuck does the whole world need to know that you're drinking the same generic coffee at the same generic place where thousands of other people sit and do the exact same average and uninteresting thing every single day? Why the fuck is it so hard to do something for yourself out of enjoyment instead of everything having to be for nothing more than showing off your illusion of living a "perfect" life on Instagram as if you're so special that the whole world should care? I could go on all night with this absolute nonsense, so I better stop here.

I just can't relate.