game i depend on is shit

this is so stupid and cringe but ive depended on tbis videogame for years to not kms, im not as dependent as i used to be but jm still pretty bad, i know its unhealthy but its all ive got really, i first got into this game when i was being sexually abusef as a child, i remember thinking about it while it happened, smth about seeing thr game i depend on get worse and worse makes ne feel so, idk i was already really hopeless but this feels like a final straw, like i cant even have this, i hate everything in my life and this one thing i love and that used to bring me so much comfort is getting worse, im disgusting for having a parasocial relationship with a videogame i know that, im stupid and its my fault, but i feel like its all ive had for years its hard to let go, im so disgusting and dirty i deserve to die im such just a blight