Met girl online and catfished

"Pata hai aaj kya hua" its a year ago I met a girl online coincidentally humare thebich achi khasi baat cheet hui but m hu insecure aur ajeb sa toh real identity chupa li kinda catfish kr dia aur socha tha ita close begara uss time zone m mujhe hona bhi ni tha toh maine phle hi kuch rules rkh diye the ki like pyar wala scene ni Krna photos exchange ni krnege and kuch exam ki tyari krre the toh like 1 saal tk sth rhenge bs ye the toh abb shuru shuru m thode thode krte krte roj baate hone lgi phir aur close aagye toh ab 24 hr sth call pe hi rhne lge toh abb ladki ko trust h mujhe bhi toh abb mere andr ki chull mchi aise hi ki dekhte h kon photo toh aisa toh abb ek ludo match pr dare rkha ki photo wala toh maine toh socha tha end m mna kr dunga ki mt bhej pr tb tk toh photo agya btw btana bhul gya photo se phle hi humne like acha khasa close aagye the toh ya kinda mujhe achi bhi lgne lg gyi thi toh Mtlv soft corner bn gya tha ha abhi photo pr the toh usne bhej diya maine bhi dekh liya pr apn toh insecure h toh maine toh bhejna ni tha toh maine toh ni bheja aur usne chlo ita bola bhi ni ki force ni kra but abb aisa toh chill with time aur closeness ane lgi ek din abb usne bol Diya bhejna hi pdega kafi mahino baad ki baat h like 7-8 mahine toh abb ekdm se hogya toh maine koi aur bnda bhej diya catfish mardia abb ye baat cheet chlti gyi maine kafi emotional support dena ni ata toh fuck up krke baha phle fck up krdia aur kuch time baad cheeze bigdi aur aisa scene hua toh abb meri fake identity ke sth hi Mtlv cheeze bigd chuki thi toh aur fake identity btayi toh mere andr bhi guilt bhr rkha toh mujhe btana tha pr dr gya like phir toh mmm manata bhi kya pr phir maine thoda like time usne dosti Tod di thi pr yup bndi loyal thi aur ha abhi bhi baat since dosti tuti toh yaha breakdown hua toh mujhe btana tha sch toh kuch time like khudko usko samne gira liya than kuch time phle usee sb bta diya catfish kra and ya she is hurt kafi jada hi but she didn't say anything just said I promised u to stay up till exam toh uta time rhungi than I will delete the app and cut off all the contacts toh abb mujhe ni pta kya kru ik i messed up things but dk wht to do idk what I have written but pta ni yrrrr abb aisa ki bo abhi bhi agr m msg krunga toh dry replies han nh kn mil jyega pr ha she replies everytime along with what I have done to her don't know what to do I have fcking hurted a lot to her and ya maine ita koi contact ya closure kisi se rkha ni life m toh pta ni kaise face kru m khud uski jagah hota toh kbka block krdia hota but abhi bhi baat krrri maybe promise ki wajah se abhi mere 1 mahina 1 mahine baad bo exam hote hi agle din Jane ko bola Maine apni trf se sara confession krdia abb kya Krna chaiye