Feel like an awful person for considering divorce over sex but...

I am a HLM married to a HLF, both 33. Shes only the third person i ever dated, and we've basically been together since we were kids.

When 23 were in high school and into maybe the second year of college we basically had daily sex. I had always been a daily masturbator, so I kind of thought this was a normal frequency. Honestly my drive is so high that usually id get home from her place having just had sex and go another round by myself. Even in my 30s its that high.

The day we moved in together the frequency f our sex took a nose dive. We would go months without it. I think in 2013 we didnt have sex unti August, so like 75% of the year. I basically spent my 20s not having sex, and while Im not thinking about having missed hookup culture, i am definitely sad to have spent so many years not having sex.

for me sex is more than physical Its kind of like a relationship check in that tells me everytbing is good. Maybe thats an unhealthy way to look at it but I cant help it.

when we got engaged we had a serious talk. I told her I love her and wanted to be with only her for the rest of my life. But that I didn't want to live my only life without something important to me. That intimacy was a huge thing for me. She agreed to make the effort and she really did. Then covid happened and it got even better, sometimes back to daily. We were both working from home and afterwards basically had sex on our lunch breaks every single day. One day we even did it twice.

then it was time to go back to the office. Things slowed down obviously from the lack of alone time but we would routinely have sex every weekend. Then we had a kid and maintained our weekly sex.

the past few months though..idk. The sex has slowed down a lot. and more than that its like im not allowed to show physical affection any more. She is ONLY open to sex in the morning which is fine, but lately she gets mad when I try. When I flirt she tells me to "stop being horny". Some days I cant even get a kiss. it honestly feels like she hates me.

I cant believe this, but it honestly might be over. I've told her im worried and she brushes me off, outright refuses to talk about it. Im a very physically affectionate person and i cant even hug or kiss her a lot. I really dont think she is having an affair fwiw. I dont know. Maybe she was just putting in all that effort to match my expectations but that affectionate sexual person just wasnt her.

I dont want to live the rest of my life like tbis. I have a few more decades to be a sexual person.

idk im just venting. I do love her but it honestly feels like she doesn't feel the same way for me. if I leave her over affection and intimacy im the jerk who broke up a family for his selfish reasons. Obviously im going to try my hardest to make it work but I dont want my kid growing up in a house with no love.