The Human Condition - Ch 104: Moot Point

Character Wiki

<< First | < Previous | Next >

“The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out.” - Franklin Delano Roosevelt

~

“So have you heard?” Frank asked, breaking the silence and the boredom of waiting in a speed trap beside I-78. Since the APCs the militia stuck out much more than their old police cars had, drivers had plenty of time to notice them and slow down. While it was good that people were scared into safety, it also made waiting there a lot more boring than he had remembered it being. At least the console was capable of accurately displaying the relative speeds of every unobscured car in a half-mile radius, courtesy of the lidar unit on the roof.

“About what?” Dmitry responded grumpily. He had been upset ever since Saturday, when they had been notified that the I’arna case was being taken over by the Interior. The Innie fuckers had gone and classified all the evidence he had spent weeks gathering, and he wasn’t allowed to talk about any of it anymore. To him, it reeked of conspiracy and nobles protecting nobles.

“About what Henry and E’nara saw the other night. They won’t shut up about it.”

“No, I haven’t heard. What did they see?” Dmitry asked, curious. 

“One, a bunch of new militiawomen from off-world, wearing old style uniforms no less. Two, apparently one of the militiawomen was really tall or something? E’nara didn’t like her, because apparently, she tried to pick her up!”

“Pick her up? Like, as in lift her into the air?” Dmitry asked, confused. E’nara was a shil’vati and therefore much bigger and heavier than a human. Who the fuck was strong enough to lift her??

“No, she tried to seduce her!” Frank said, chuckling. “What I wouldn’t have given to see that!”

“Huh,” Dmitry said. Apparently you didn’t need to be a human guy to get propositioned way too bluntly by a shil’vati.

“But aside from that, Henry claims to have seen exo-suits hidden under tarps they were transporting to the abandoned marine base,” Frank said, getting serious again. “That’s what’s got the two of them–and now everyone else–worried.”

“That sounds like useless, expensive toys,” Dmitry said. “We don’t need exos. We’re law enforcement.”

“I know. You think that the new governor got them in order to show off?”

“Probably. He spent millions on an orchestra, for Pete’s sake. I don’t even wanna know how much he’s spent on these life-size action figures.”

“Ugh. I hope it’s his own money that he’s using on this bullshit, because I don’t want to see the bill falling on us taxpayers,” Frank groused.

“We don’t even have any taxes on personal income,” Dmitry said. “Alice only implemented corporate taxes.”

“They’ll raise their prices to compensate,” Frank said. “So it does cost us, at least a little bit. The amount that it now costs to do business in Pennsylvania.”

“Well, I’ve mostly seen prices go down a little bit, actually,” Dmitry countered. “Though that might be the free trade zone thingy kicking in.”

“I thought that hadn’t actually come into effect yet?”

“Markets can anticipate, right?” Dmitry said. “I mean you were just saying that the taxes would be factored in. Maybe they’re factoring that in as well.”

“True. I wasn’t sure it would stick around without Alice, but I guess they seem to think so.”

“Lady Pol’ra also championed it,” Dmitry pointed out. “She’s pretty good, as governesses go.”

“I didn’t know much about her before she started showing up next to Alice all the time. That was kind of weird, don’t you think? To immediately back the rebellious human.”

“Well, it certainly looks like it got her more influence among her peers,” Dmitry said. “So maybe that was the angle.”

“Maybe.”

That ended the conversation for a few minutes. 

“Huh,” Frank said suddenly.

‘What?” Dmitry asked.

“It looks like a gunship, but painted militia colors,” he responded, pointing at the screen that displayed camera footage of the sky above them. “If I recall correctly, we don’t have many of those that belong to us and not the marines. I wonder what it’s doing out right now, considering we’ve heard nothing on the radio.”

“Maybe Cor’nol wanted to go for a spin around the state,” Dmitry suggested. Still in a bad mood, he said something a little risky: “Maybe he’ll even meet his sister that way.”

“Nah, there are special shuttles for our dear leader,” Frank said “They’ve probably got cushy, blinged-out interiors. No way he’d want to rough it out in a marine-equivalent model.”

“You sure know a lot about Imperial equipment,” Dmitry commented. Frank had obliquely confirmed his participation in resistance activities before, but he now wondered just how extensively Frank had been involved.

“Sun Tzu and all that,” he said dismissively. “Looks like the ship’s landing somewhere on the north side of Allentown. Maybe it’s related to all that activity Henry reported at the old marine base.”

“I don’t like that,” Dmitry said. “I’m starting to get a bad feeling about all this. First, a bunch of women carrying exos move in there and now a gunship? If someone’s playing with toys, these are dangerous toys.”

“Mmm. I don’t like it either,” Frank said. “But what can we do?”

~~~~~~

As Noril was alone in his room, browsing the limited number of property listings in Florida that were available to view out-of-system, an urgent notification suddenly popped up on his omnipad.

[INTERIOR ALERT!]: All active and off-duty agents are to be advised that the Imperium has entered a state of active conflict. Wartime readiness levels are henceforth  to be maintained, and limited leave protocols are now in effect. The following sectors and planets have been raised to yellow alert: Cor’ringa Sector, Vashana Sec….

Immediately tapping on the alert for more details, Noril said something rather uncharacteristic:

“Well fuck, I guess it’s war, then.”

Reading through the full text of the alert, it seemed like military action would be occurring on the Alliance border. All the sectors there were on red alert, and a number of neighboring systems as well as the whole Consortium border had been put on yellow alert. Although it was far from either border, Earth had been red since integration, and wasn’t about to change now. Amusingly, the alert specified that all agents should report to their senior officers at the earliest convenience to receive further direction.

Noril decided he would interpret that directive as ordering him to return to Earth, since that was where his Senior Agent, Gy’toris, was. At the moment, Earth needed him far more than Gehundil. Aside from Her’ala, there was probably still corruption left to be rooted out in the local interior, but there certainly weren’t any active insurgencies!

Even given the directive, there was still nothing else he could do but wait. The next ship to Earth was probably not about to leave any earlier, and he doubted there would be any random warships that happened to be heading in the direction of Earth at a time like this. In fact, they would generally tend to be heading in the opposite direction.

Deciding to check the public data-net to see more exactly what might be going on, Noril saw things absolutely blowing up across all the news and social media sites as one particular headline made its way onto the screens of probably every device in the system:

EMPRESS STRIKES BACK AT ALLIANCE, ORDERS NAVY TO PROSECUTE  A ‘BORDER SECURITY OPERATION.’ 

Interesting. Both the Palace and the news were specifically avoiding the word ‘war’ for the time being. There was to be ‘armed enforcement of the proper border,’ which was to be supported by ‘special’ measures, notably not war measures.

While calling it something else didn’t stop any of the people involved from dying in combat, it did potentially help limit the scope of the conflict. If you called it a border security operation, you were technically committing yourself not to go further than the border regions. An implicit promise that might make Alliance leadership more willing to negotiate, and that might help convince the Consortium to stay out of the situation.

In sum, it wasn’t actually too different from what he had told Thekla might happen back a couple of weeks ago. A primarily grey-zone conflict, where most of the fleet battles would probably be with Alliance proxies. Still, the possibility of escalation remained. If Alliance-flagged ships fought Imperial ones, and that got enough people on either side angry, the name of the operation could switch in a heartbeat. After all, a name was still just a name.

Dangerous times, these were turning out to be. 

~~~~~~

“I apologize to those who haven’t gotten to speak yet on this topic, but I believe we will have to shelve Councilor Johnson’s proposed resolution for the moment,” George Mason, Speaker of the Advisory Council to the Governor of Pennsylvania, announced. “Lord N’taaris’ staff have just informed me that the Governor would like to ‘consult his Council on urgent matters.’ In order to facilitate that request, I move that we table the current discussion in order to take on this extraordinary business.”

~~~

While Peter Lee had been busy working in his personal office just a few minutes ago, he had also been notified of the request, and had come downstairs to visit the Council chamber in preparation for the visit.

Sensibly, the vote to table the discussion and resume it at a later date was unanimous. It was the first time Lord N’taaris had taken the initiative to consult with them, and no one wanted to keep him waiting. 

“When is he estimated to arrive?” Councilor Marshall of Bradford County asked.

“11:15 AM,” George replied.

“That’s only ten minutes from now!”

A murmur swept through the chamber. Ten minutes was absurdly short notice, even for an urgent meeting. What could be that urgent? Peter quickly checked his phone to see if there was anything big in the news. Nothing. That kind of urgency would be understandable if something had exploded, or if there had been a freak tornado. But there seemed to be nothing in the news to explain it.

“Do we know what topics are to be discussed?” another councilor asked.

“No.”

And Lord N’taaris hadn’t provided any explanation either, which wasn’t helpful in the slightest. How could they counsel him with no information?

“Then how are we supposed to prepare?”

“Maybe get a snack, so that you don’t get hungry if the meeting goes long?” George suggested. “I don’t know. There’s no time, either.”

~~~~~~

“Hey, boss says we’re shutting the cameras down,” Zar’na said.

“Are you sure?” Carol asked. “The council hasn’t even discussed it…”

“Yep. Orders from the big man–the governor himself,” Zar’na said. “Apparently, he’s making this a private session.”

“Really? Well, if you say so…” Carol responded.

Flicking the switch to disconnect the camera from the livestream, she began preparing to ‘soft-stow’ their equipment. Since the two of them were on semi-permanent assignment covering the Council’s activities, it would be pointless to spend ten minutes putting their stuff completely away just to spend another ten minutes setting it back up again in an hour or two once the private Council session had ended.

“Oh, by the way, I need to use the bathroom,” Zar’na said. “Do you think you can get this by yourself?”

“Absolutely,” Carol said, slightly annoyed at her senior camerawoman’s lax attitude on the job. 

When she had joined up with the governess’ publicity department and learned that she would be working under the woman who had been responsible for inserting funny cat videos into the political debates, Carol had been very excited. But Zar’na wasn’t particularly devoted to the job, nor was she particularly good at teaching an assistant like herself, so it was a bit of a mixed bag. At least she wasn’t particularly strict about anything. 

But putting that aside, in this particular case Carol had a bit of a bad feeling. Being ordered to close up shop by the Governor, rather than the Council? That was new, and from what Carol could see, it didn’t look like the council was aware of it.

Since Zar’na probably wouldn’t be back for a while, she decided to give in to her gut. Looking around to make sure there was no one looking up at the balcony where she and the camera were located, she quickly switched the camera back to recording mode. She didn’t reconnect to the stream because then she would be promptly fired and prosecuted for leaking state secrets, but she would still be able to either retrieve or delete the recording later. Just in case.

~~~~~~

Fortunately, or unfortunately, the Council didn’t have to wait long. The mostly ceremonial guards at the door greeted the governor, and then he and his entourage entered. Along with himself and his secretary, Te’dol, there were several armed women wearing old-style militia uniforms. Peter didn’t like that. If Cor’nol wanted to change the militia uniforms back to his house’s colors, that was probably fine, it was just a uniform. But he hadn’t issued such a decree. Nor, to his knowledge, had he discussed it with anyone.

Maybe the uniform change was just going to be for the Governor’s personal guard? That might make sense. If anyone was going to wear House N’taaris colors, it would be them. That might not even require a decree, if he had just talked to the chief of his guard about it.

“Council! Hear me, for I have a request for you! Advise me as to the sensibility of paying employees who do not do their jobs! Do you keep them, or do you fire them?” Cor’nol asked, theatrically putting his hands on his hips.

“Could you clarify that question?” Peter asked, deciding to take the role of spokesperson against the governor’s demanding attitude.

“I mean that certain subordinates of mine have failed to produce actions of substance, and instead have engaged in pointless, frivolous diversions. They speak of the need to do things one way and then pursue the opposite approach. In other words, they are useless.”

“Sounds to me like you already have made up your mind about these people,” Peter said, skeptical of Cor’nol’s motives here. This sounded like some sort of rhetorical trap that he wanted to lead Peter into. He and Victoria had had a discussion about this sort of thing last week, and how they could best maintain honesty and a sense of straightforwardness in the face of leading questions

“Ah, but a second opinion is always valuable,” Cor’nol said. “And who better to advise than the advisors? They always give useful advice. They really earn their pay. So, pray tell me what you would do in my situation?”

“I need more details,” Peter pressed. “Who has failed to live up to expectations, and in what way? What you are saying sounds rather accusatory, and counsel is best taken with a level head. It simply wouldn’t do to neglect the details. After all, we humans have a saying that that is where the devil, or the deep-minder, hides.”

Cor’nol frowned, as if he were annoyed at Peter’s refusal to cooperate. 

“The deep-minder does not concern me, Mr. Lee. Your recalcitrance does. Answer the question.”

“I would prefer more information, but if you wish to ignore nuance in this case, very well: It is my opinion that if employees of the county of Pennsylvania are failing to meet expectations, that they should be notified and placed under review. If they do not improve, then it would probably be acceptable to let them go.”

“Very measured. Very cautious. Very inefficient. I’m sure that at least one of you here could come up with a better suggestion. You there, councilor. What would you do in such a situation?”

Cor’nol had singled out the councilor from Susquehanna, Councilor Biswas, to answer his question. She, like a supermajority of the council, was considered part of the radical faction. 

“That depends on exactly how neutral and accurate the assessment of their performance is, Lord N’taaris. Has it been conducted by a reliable source? By what metrics are they being evaluated?”

“It’s a simple question! Just answer it!”

‘Then I would support a similar approach to the one Mr. Lee mentioned,” Councilor Biswas said. “We need to strike a balance between efficiency and accountability. We wouldn’t want to be firing people on the spur of the moment.”

Peter could tell that by this point Cor’nol was starting to get annoyed at their reluctance to answer his very forward question. He was tapping his foot, and his brow line was dipping down towards his eyes, but he wasn’t quite scowling yet. Then Violet Eaton raised her hand.

~~~~~~

“Oh sir, I will answer your question!” Violet Eaton cheerfully announced, standing up from her seat and waving her arm in the air. Wearing her bad shil’vati costume as always, her stuffed breasts wobbled all over the place as she moved.

Te’dol cringed very hard in anticipation of his master’s wrath. Lord N’taaris hated Councilor Eaton with a burning passion, and at this point, it seemed like there was nothing that could be done to stop that anger from spilling over. But then it didn’t.

“...fine. What say you, councilor-in-jest?” Lord N’taaris said, with an open look of angry disdain on his face. He had held it together, just barely. That was good. Screaming and yelling would not be a good look. But how would Councilor Eaton respond?

“Promote them! People who are preoccupied with silly little things like paperwork and assignments are so boring! It’s the total slackers who really know where it’s at, especially when it comes to parties. They know the best bars and restaurants! The best live entertainment! The best mint dealers! The best BDSM dungeons! Who cares if the peasants are starving and destitute? They’re all losers anyway!”

She stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry at the end of her speech before sitting back down. 

Te’dol couldn’t believe it. Was she really willing to say something like that, even in jest? Because even though it was framed as a joke, it still implied that his master didn’t care about doing his job!

“Can any of you do your damn jobs!?” Cor’nol yelled, his temper escaping after half a second of stunned silence. “You’re supposed to give me advice! BUT NO! You refuse to listen to me when I make executive decisions! You glorify the pretense of Alliance’style mob politics! You are a goddess-damned JOKE! As of this instant, I declare this council dissolved! You’re all fired! All of you!”

“You can’t do that!” Counselor Johnson from Lackawanna stood and shouted in defiance. “As of Council Resolution 1-4, signed into law by Governess-Regent Alice Cooper, the council and the governess slash governor shall agree on when the council is to be dissolved. We must approve such a request for it to go into effect!”

“What!? Who cares!?” his master yelled. “I’m the governor, and I hereby pass a new law that dissolves the Council immediately!”

“How ridiculous to assume that you can move so tyrannically and unilaterally!” Councilor Johnson yelled back. “You vowed to heed the advice of the Council! I advise you that you’re being an obtuse moron!”

“With the advice you give, I should wonder if you are merely being self-reflective, Mr. Johnson! In any case, you are no longer an employee of mine, and I therefore order you and the rest of your bad-mouthing council to vacate these premises immediately! Collect your possessions from your office, and then depart!”

“No. I was elected by the people of Pennsylvania to represent them, and represent them I shall! They will not stand for this tyrannical usurpation! They will have your head for this!”

“Was that a threat, Mr. Johnson?” Lord N’taaris asked, baring his teeth. “A threat to my body and person?”

“It is a solemn prediction of what I believe the consequences of your actions will be!” (former) Councilor Johnson shouted back. “It is advice, Mr. N’taaris.”

“Then it is a threat,” Lord N’taaris replied. “Militia! Seize the dangerous criminal making threats against my person!”

As he pointed viciously at Councilor Johnson, two militiawomen from his guard moved to apprehend him. Te’dol used his omnipad to signal the additional militia his master had positioned outside the building to move in and begin securing the building. Although the shouting match with Mr. Johnson was unintentional, everything else was going to plan. His master’s plan. 

“This is unacceptable!” Mr. Lee interjected. “Arresting one of your own councilors? What will people think?”

“Unacceptable to weak, indecisive fools! Your last governess was a disgrace, allowing things to get this bad in only a month! Righting it will probably take a year! And I know that you will not help me! You’re a traitor to Pennsylvania, Peter Lee, and you’re lucky you’re not rotting in prison right now for the turox-shit you pulled in Pittsburgh! But, on the other hand, if you feel like overstaying your welcome, I’d be happy to have you detained on trespassing charges, because you’re also fired! You and your assistant, and the entire council! All of you, scram!”

With that, the entire hall broke into confusion. All the councilors stood up. Some of them grabbed their bags. Some held up their fists. Some of them were yelling. Some of them looked scared. Two of them, both male, tried to block the militiawomen from arresting Councilor Johnson, but the bulky shil’vati women shouldered their way through to Johnson and lifted him bodily into the air. He spat in one of their faces, but was otherwise unable to resist as he was restrained by their prodigious strength.

“Councilors!” Speaker Mason boomed. He must have turned the sensitivity of the microphone in front of his desk all the way up, because he was so loud that Te’dol covered his ears and winced, dropping his omnipad in the process.

“Order in the chamber! You all will sit back down! We will grab our belongings, our personal documents, and leave this new-found den of tyranny one by one in an orderly manner! We are no savages! Conduct yourselves with dignity, let others sully their image first!”

Te’dol was initially torn between fumbling to pick up his dropped omnipad and keeping his ears covered. But as the Speaker’s words finished echoing through the chamber, the chaos rapidly diminished. The councilors stopped yelling. The Militiawomen looked to Lord N’taaris for guidance. He decided to pick up his omnipad. Annoyingly, one of the corners of the case had dented slightly. The screen wasn’t broken, but he was still annoyed at the divot.

Standing silently with his arms crossed, his master watched the awkward procession of councilors and their staff form and then begin to work its way out of the chamber. In the middle of it, the former assistant chief-of-staff approached Lord N’taaris. Mrs. Belvedere stopped a number of feet away, just before the guards would have intervened. Her arms were crossed, mirroring his master’s posture. She looked like she was towards the end of middle-aged, and she did not strike an imposing figure.

“So, Lord N’taaris. Am I to understand that Mr Lee, myself, and the entire rest of the Advisory Council are to be dismissed?”

“Correct,” his master replied.

“Presumably, you have already thought through the details such as back pay, decredentialling, and the hand-over of various responsibilities?"

“Absolutely,” Lord N’taaris declared. “It will all be handled.”

“And you don’t need anything from either me or anyone else?” she asked.

“Nope. Leave, and you’re done,” his master asserted. Te’dol wondered if that would really be true. Perhaps it would be better to at least check…

“If I may ask, who will be succeeding myself and Mr. Lee to the position of chief-of-staff? Just out of courtesy. I would endeavour to wish him or her good luck.”

“Of course. Your replacement is right here,” his master said, putting his hand on Te'dol's shoulder.

“Hurk!” was the sound that came out of Te’dol’s mouth in response.

If he had been drinking water, half of it would be in his lungs right about now. As it was, he was lucky that he didn’t drop his omnipad for the second time in a row. Never in a million years had he imagined that he would be replacing the fired humans! Sure, he was close to Lord N’taaris, but he was a private secretary, not a public figure!

“... go on, introduce yourself,” Lord N’taaris said, pushing him forward. He held out his fist in front of him as steadily as he could, but it was still a little wobbly, and he could feel his face rapidly heating up in embarrassment. And this wasn’t the benign embarrassment he had felt the other day with Rodah, either. This was full-on mortification.

“Hello. I think we’ve met before. I’m Te’dol,” he squeaked out.

“Yes, I remember you from previously,” Mrs. Belvedere said. “Well Te’dol, I wish you luck in your role as Pennsylvania’s next chief-of-staff. I have a feeling you’re going to need it.”

With that half-genuine, half-threatening line, she turned on her heel and joined the rest of the disgruntled councilors on their way out.

~

<< First | < Previous | Next >