Burnt out dad getting a divorce

Well fellow dads it appears my wife and I are getting a divorce. She has been contemplating it ever since I blew up at her in February and she finally told me 3 weeks ago she wants to go through it with. We have been together for 15 years and married for 9 of those years. Since the beginning of our relationship she has always been quick to escalation which meant I became very conflict avoidant. While our 4 year old son was younger we did couples consoling and we were both seeing individual therapists. We ended our couples therapist as we agreed that things were going and my therapist moved to another practice so I stopped seeing him.

Over the past 2 years my wife started playing pickleball which was great as she has been looking for a good exercise outlet. It started as just a couple days a week which was good but evolved into her playing everyday and that's what brought strain to our relationship. For the past 6 months I have been fully responsible for walking our dog, supper and bedtime for our son ever single day and any household chores. Even on the weekends she would play from 8am-12pm and then come home to shower and nap the day away until supper. My only moment of peace is Monday nights when I stick my son in front of the tv and play draw steel (DnD like game) with my friends . Even with that he is normally interrupting the game multiple times not allowing me to fully unplug. Back in February my wife had a rare night that was supposed to be pickleball free and we were going to take my son to Karate together for change. Well throughout the day she was looking for way to some how make pickleball work after karate was over and it got to me since it seemed she hates spending time us so I worked with her to make pickleball work. Well she got home and she was upset that there was no left over supper for her and I just blew up and told her we all do not just get play pickleball everyday and that I feel like a single father.

Now the past 3 weeks have been pretty tough and I have tried a couple times to mention ways we can make this work but she says its too late. The sad truth is I am not sure if I really want to stay with my wife as I loved my old life with her but lately its been miserable. She is gone so much that when she with me and my son things feel ackward. Sadly I will see my son less but at least my "me time" will be set in stone and I feel like it will make me a better parent when I get to see him. Currently I am figuring out my budget for my single life. Oddly enough looks like I can take on an apartment and car while still saving about $700 a month in savings. Currently my wife's spending habits have gotten us in debt even though we live with her in-laws (no house payment) and we only have one car payment. This is with her making a couple thousand more than me. Current focus is going to be on finding a full time job before my contract job ends in December, getting my savings in good shape, and paying off car and student loans as fast as possible.

If anyone has some good tips for divorce with a 4 year old please let me know. I'm thinking of giving him some choices for his room decorations and then letting him spend about $100 on new toys for my place. Also I have a big tote of Legos from my childhood that he has yet to see so I am saving that when we officially separate.

Also a bit a long but thanks for letting me get this out.