I don’t know how to handle my toddler

My little girl turns 2 in the first part of July. I knew toddlerhood was full of unexplainable tantrums, but I genuinely feel like my toddler is out of control. I don’t know how to respond to things like hitting. She likes to pull my hair and smack me, and does hit out of anger when she’s upset. I hold her hand down, say “NO” very sternly, and on a few occasions have popped her hand (not hard at all). She thinks it’s funny when I do this. How do I discipline a toddler who thinks it’s funny? I don’t want to spank her, because how can I tell you not to hit and then turn around and hit you for hitting me? But, I don’t know what to do instead. My parents were very much pro spanking, and I only got spanked a couple of times but the eye was enough for me. My little girl is a menace. I don’t know what to do. When she throws tantrums, she will fall out in the floor and bang her hands and feel and sometimes throw whatever is near her. I ignore her until it gets to where she’s throwing things or kicking/hitting the floor for her safety and mine. I’m at a loss. I don’t want my child to grow into a spoiled, mean monster but I don’t want to spank her either. Please give me some tips.