[Just A Little Further] - Chapter 14

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<Ugh, really? Bad is so black and white. We're better than that.>

<No, look at what you're making me do!>

<Making? Melody, we're not making you do anything. We're facilitating. This is all what wished you could do, but couldn't. Don't lie; we're in here too.>

<What are you?>

<We're a part of you now. Down here with the part of you that you try to keep submerged with gallons of coffee. The part of you that's really good with firearms and chalks it up to practice. The part of you that knows computer systems inside and out but never seemed to figure out people. We fixed all that. We're a Builder. And now you are too.>

<So you're the nanomachines?>

<Of a sort. We are - among other things - the collected memories and personalities of the Builders collected in the Nanites. We help you to be who you are. Who you are meant to be.>

<That doesn’t explain anything. What are you?>

<We are a nanoscale intelligence from another dimension. An unfathomably long time ago we came here looking for energy. The easiest way to get that energy was to collaborate with local peoples and set up a galaxy spanning empire.>

<How old are you?>

<You cannot properly even begin to imagine how old we are. This is not the first, or second, or fiftieth time we’ve had to build an empire. When the empire you are now standing in collapsed into rubble, we already knew how to rebuild. How someone would eventually come along that we could use. If someone that we thought would be a good leader came along and touched the Gate we’d help them to remember what we are, what they could be. Melody, you have to realize. We are in charge here together. Us. You*. The whole of Reach of the Might of Vzzx, Far Reach, Earth, all of settled space,* the entire Galaxy*. You are in charge. This is a lot to take in all at once, but we wouldn’t tell you unless we thought you were ready. You're tired. You need to eat, you need to sleep. Tell everyone here whatever you’d like, it does not matter. Half of them don't believe it, and the other half - like Captain Q'ari - know it already. Play at being ‘just Melody’ all you want but when you're ready to take your mantle as Builder, we’ll be right here.>*

"Melody?" It's Dr Irenimum, standing at the airlock. I had been concentrating on speaking with the Nanites so much that I didn’t hear Gene leave, or him arrive. "Melody? Do you want to come to the infirmary?" He didn't tell me, he asked.

<He understands.>

"Yes, please Doctor Irenimum. I think something is wrong with me."

<Nothing is wrong.>

When I got there, I laid on the table and he began another scan. The hum of the machines was so soothing, I nearly fell asleep. Before I could nod all the way off he said quietly,” Melody, I'm all finished. Let's take a look at what we can see." He spent a moment looking at the results as I sat up and right away body his language said he had bad news and feared telling me.

"What is it Doctor? Please tell me."

“Erm, it looks as if the nano machines have replicated further. Do you feel the same as before?"

I laughed dryly, "In what way, Doctor? You saw me outside right? I've apparently taken the mantle of Builder and am now a living god to everyone onboard this station and-" I looked at my hands "-I think have the power to back up that claim."

“Um, no, I meant more like your weight. You're nearly two kilograms heavier. All of it nano machines."

I'm what? “Isn't that a whole lot of nano machines?"

"Hmm yes, yes. Trillions, if not more. Working in concert I imagine they make you formidable. Increased brain processing power, increased reaction time; you can understand all languages and can now manipulate fields to rearrange matter on the subatomic level. Whoever these Builders originally were, they were nobody to trifle with."

<The very stars are ours - yours - to command..>

<Shh.>

"Is... Is there any way to remove them? Or turn them off?"

"Off? No, no I don't think so, no." Dr Irenimum thought for a moment. “Anything that I could think of that would be effective against nanoscale assemblers like that would also have the unfortunate side effect of killing you. Plus, with a density this high and clearly how much work they're doing with your body, even if we had a way to to it, I have a feeling that turning them off would just kill you outright."

<He's right. There's no getting rid of us.>

"But, er, other than that." I chuckled darkly, "I'm okay?"

"Oh? Yes yes, you're better than okay I'd say. Compared to the baseline scans we took when the mission started you're in better health than ever."

<See? We have good points too. With us, you need never die.>

<Never?>

<Well, your lifespan will be extended far beyond your baseline species.>

"Melody? I believe we've removed beyond the realm of the physical to the…metaphysical." Dr Irenimum made a face and his ears flattened. The whole time we’ve been talking his tail was anxiously swishing back and forth. "You know you're not a god and most of us here know you're not a god, but those people out there?" He gestured towards the airlock. "They're pretty sure you're a god. Given how you reacted today when the security guards tried to break up a congregation of your worshipers? I'd say that their side is looking better and better."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Doc, you don't think I'm a god, do you?"

For the first time since I came in, he looked me in the eye and I shivered. He wasn’t sounding distracted because he was flighty, he was trying to keep his mind busy thinking about anything other than me and my new passengers. "There is an old, old K'laxi religion. It's about the Gates actually. We had no proof at the time, but one of our religions stated that there would be "doors in the sky" to other worlds that were ruled by terrible overlords, who subjugated us mercilessly. Time passed, and we moved on and left the religion behind - well, many of us anyway - but when we went into space, and found the Gate? You could say there was quite the revival of the religion. More than a few wars were fought over it. Once we learned how to traverse the gates and discovered there were no Gate builders around anymore, we figured maybe it was just a legend, or maybe it was something that was true aeons ago, but was left in the dust of history."

Dr Irenimum looked away, "Then we met humans."

“There were precious few descriptions of what our overlords looked like, but what few descriptors we had were worryingly close to humans. But you had no Gates! It couldn't be you. You traversed space in a whole different way and when we asked you about the Gates you had no idea what we were talking about and when we offered information on them you outright refused. It had to have been purely coincidence."

He looked me in my eyes again. "But now... Now, we traverse the Gates in a ship built by humans. A human touches the Gate and it reacts in a way never seen before. A human touches the directory stone and you get wild... powers, there is no other way to describe it. A human with these powers brings us across the Galaxy and we find a station full of species we've never met and when they first see you, when they first talk to you Melody, they act like god came to visit. When a group of their churchgoers shows up and security comes to break up the group with violence you cow them all with words and light and force and they are compelled to do your bidding."

<We like him. He gets it.>

When he said it like that, it did sound a little scary. It didn’t feel scary at the time though, it felt correct, proper, right. Is it scary now? I wasn't sure.

<It's not frightening because it is right.>

Okay, what does your religion say about the Builders?"

This time, when he had started looking me in the eyes, he did not waver. “Nothing good Melody. It feared your return. It called you Tep’ra’fel - the undeniable, those who could not be disobeyed. Captain Q'ari doesn't know what to do. Her familial line was still very religious even in these more enlightened days. In you, she sees the coming of her god.” He finally breaks eye contact with me and his fur ripples back and forth. “Our gods were never kind or benevolent, Melody.”

"But what do I do, Doctor? I don't want to be a god," I nearly wailed.

<There is no denying yourself.>

"I don't know Melody. You are who you are. Have solace in the fact that you are a good person, and have shown all of us here on Far Reach that fact. You are a kind, generous, intelligent. A little bit of godhood won't change that…probably,” He said as he patted my back. "It's late. Go sleep. Things will be clearer in the morning."

I got up and thanked him and went to my quarters. The ship was dark and quiet; by ships-time it was quite late. I was exhausted, and barely had the energy to take off my uniform - ugh vestments now I supposed - and crawled into bed.

Another night, more wild dreams. This time I'm in a throne again, this one different. Maybe the one we visited? Maybe not, dream logic made it tough to tell. I'm there, and everyone loved and feared me. I told them so, and they agreed readily. I told them to build a new station, and it was done. I told them to build a Gate and they ran to obey. The one I'm inspecting now - I'm at a Gate inspection, that's right - wasn’t active yet; the ring of the new Gate was folded tight into a long cylinder. It's towed by a huge ship - a Starjumper? - no, that can't be right - towards a Gate and it disappeared off to the far reaches of the - my - empire to expand. Any people we met along the way became my subjects. I was Builder. I was Empress.

Shortly after the new Gate departed, a courier ship traversed, approaching my station with news of the empire. A small race of minor people who called themselves K'laxi, had rebelled. They had the temerity to kill their overseers and close their Gate. How did they learn to do that? No matter. I would go and see to the Gates reactivation personally and demonstrate what happens to those who reject my love.

As they explained things, the messenger trembled before me, their fear bright and sharp. This was right, but I was not without pity. I did not destroy them for the crime of bringing me bad news. If people feared to bring me bad news they would hide it from me until the empire toppled over, and the entire time I would think everything was fine.

No. The messenger was rewarded. A new ship, bigger, more comfortable. A promotion. Command of Courier Corps X. Go forth and bring me the news - good and bad - of my empire.

I woke up completely tangled in my bed sheets, sideways in my bed. I was not normally an active sleeper, but with these wild dreams came a lot of movement. As I got up, I looked back at the tangled sheets and they looked like wings.

<You know, when that happened originally you had the messenger killed and the ship destroyed. You are learning.>

<That was a real thing that happened?>

<Yes. A memory of the Empress, though your mind edited it slightly.>

<Killing the messenger only tells everyone else to keep bad news from me - her. Then I - she wouldn't know when things fell apart.>

<Which is what happened. Before the k'laxi rebelled, a splinter group of Builders decided to reject the loving embrace of the Empire and not only did they close their Gate, but they destroyed it, stranding themselves. The entire time, the Empress was told everything was fine, and received no word of their betrayal until it was too late.>

<Earth?>

<That's what you call it, yes.>

<How long ago was this?>

<We don't know; it's not like you keep the same calendar. Thousands of years probably, if not more.>

<So I'm a... reincarnation of an Empress?>

<More like a double exposure. We contained enough of her personality that we can give you her abilities. You are a Builder - it wouldn't work if you weren't - but now? Now you can do it right.>

<Why wouldn’t it work? You are the one that changed me, why couldn’t you do it to say, a K’laxi?>

<They’re not Builders.>

<Ah, so it’s not a physical thing, you’re just being specist. I bet the k’laxi would make great Builders.>

<As Empress you can find out.>

I decided I had spent enough time talking to the voices in my head and got ready for the day. Good work previous me to make sure my uniforms were clean and pressed. I put one on that didn't look like Holy Vestments. If I could rearrange matter into anything, I should be able to make clothes that fit me and don't make me look like some statue. I checked the time - 6:30am - and realize it's still an hour before breakfast, so there's plenty of time to make a coffee. After the day I had yesterday, I deserve a fussy one, made with the good coffee.

<Really Melody? After all that, you're still going to sully yourself with caffeine?>

<Oh goody, you're giving me pointers on my diet. That's exactly what I am looking for in an evil vizier voice.>

<We're not 'evil.' We provide advice, power, direction.>

<Well I am the Empress, and I want coffee.>

<Oh, you admit you're the Empress?> I swear I could hear their smile behind the words*. <Fine. Get your coffee.>*

While I was making coffee Mei'la came in, "Oh good morning, Mei!" I said brightly.

"G-good morning Melody," She said, awkwardly, looking away.

"Mei, what's wrong? I'm still Melody, I'm still me"

<She knows you're not.>

"Sorry Melody, it's tough. My mother's mother on that side of the familial line was very religious growing up."

"Oh yeah, I heard about this. The religion that mentioned the Gates. I spoke with Dr Irenimum yesterday about it.”

As she nodded her ears fluttered, causing the silver earrings on them to flash and shine in the light. “So you can appreciate that I'm a little freaked out to meet a god." I could also see her tail darting back and forth as she spoke with me. Her body was still but it was like her tail was trying to lead her away from me.

"Mei, I don't know how many people I have to say this to, but I am not god!" I sighed, and took another sip of my rapidly cooling coffee.

<She knows you are.>

"Melody, I have to admit, I'm not so sure." Mei'la tried to stand straighter and looked me in the eye; daring me to deny that she's wrong. Part of me was so proud of her Where did that come from?

<We are pointedly not saying anything.>

<For a voice who is not saying anything, you're talking a lot.>

"Mei'la, would it be easier if I was god, or if I wasn't god."

"Well, if you weren't god, I'd be less scared of being your friend. But if you are god, hey, how many K'laxi are friends with a god?" She laughed weakly.

I laughed too, it was the reaction she wanted to hear. I watched as her shoulders lowered just a bit and her tail stopped its manic hunting for escape. How did I know that was what she wanted to hear?

<You know how.>

<Quiet, you.>

"Mei'la. Was that why the Captain is acting so out of sorts?"

She nodded. "Captain Q'ari was even more religious than my mom's mom. Her whole familial line, all sides were highly placed in the church for centuries."

Shit. "I should go talk to her."

Mei'la flicked an ear and her tail jabbed the air one more time. "I don't know Melody."

<Come. Let's see how malleable our Captain supplicant is.>

<I said ǫᴜɪᴇᴛ, or I will make you ᴏ̨ᴜɪᴇᴛ.>

<Don't go threatening us with a good time.>