One wouldn't hurt

One wouldn't hurt,
I say to myself, stealing a cookie from the jar,
Running back to my room giggling, I was so young,
No one knew I ate that cookie.

One wouldn’t hurt, 
I say, looking at my homework,
Math was never my strong suit and It’s a day late after all, 
I got detention after school.

One wouldn’t hurt,
I say trying my first cigarette,
The way the smoke wisp against the light,
What a beautiful image a horrible item creates.

One wouldn’t hurt,
I say trying my first drink,
Everyone around me chanting to chug it,
Why does hurtful shit feel so good.

One wouldn’t hurt,
I say trying my first pill,
The way the world looks through this lens,
It's a kaleidoscopic treasure I crave that lasts forever.

One wouldn’t hurt,
I lay in bed alone, 
Packets of pills beside me - a drink to wash it down, 
This feeling of reality it drowns,
When I breathe nothing comes out,
When I listen no ones around,
Why can’t I feel anything,
I try to cling,
I plunge into nothing,
Where’s everything gone.

We say one wouldn’t hurt.
It does.
That night, I didn’t wake up.
I wonder who found me.
Surrounded by pills, alcohol, cigarettes.
My college essay still needed finishing on my desk.
With a half eaten cookie left.

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In the Scene

A letter from death