What do people do when they are at their wits end with this disease?

I have done everything traditional when it comes to treatment (Inpatient, Out Patient x4, Therapy, Psychiatry, Fellowship (Online and In person), Medication, Medication changes upon changes). I love my family more than anything. And each relapse is like me telling them I burnt their house down.

The pain. The ups and downs. It's too much after 5 years.