Addiction to Grief

I inhale my grief,

that familiar sting itches my lungs.

A brief euphoria as the world slows,

a false reality takes me.

And then..

A silence, so profound.

A void in place of my mind,

numbing my soul.

Anxiety fills me,

as I struggle to cope.

My ever fragmented conscience,

slips away.

Despite this,

a temporary peace.

Inevitable memories reveal,

flashes of childhood.

An innocence so pure,

tainted by fears.

I hold back unrealized tears,

they beg to flow.

In spite,

I hold my breath.

Eyes red,

unable to process.

My throat itches,

a cough hacks unused vocals.

An inaudible cry,

as I grieve over stolen comfort.

A cloud envelops me,

my sorrows exhaled.

And yet,

grief waits for my next breath.