I don't understand my husband's behavior regarding sex.....

My husband of sixteen years is really weird about sex (and our relationship in general) and I'm just looking for insights or thoughts on this situation.

To begin with, we rarely have sex because, frankly, he's very unskilled at it and, in my opinion, a very selfish lover. He's like a robot and seems to have very low sex drive. Whenever we do have sex, there's no connection in it, he doesn't seem interested in touching my body or getting into it at all. It goes right to the main event, lasts for a couple of minutes and it's done. Afterwards, he immediately gets up and washes himself off because he said he can't stand the "feeling" of body fluids on his skin and in his hair. I have never once had an orgasm with him in all the years we've been married. I mean, how could I? It's over before it begins. He has had his testosterone and his hormones tested and they're all fine; his hormones aren't the issue.

Whenever I do bring this subject up, he'll say things like "Oh wow, you're so gorgeous I just can't help myself" or "I can't help it." Believe me, it's not flattery. Having sex with him is like having sex with my high school boyfriend when both of us were virgins and knew nothing. He acts as if he has no idea what he's doing and the whole experience is unpleasant for me so I told him I didn't want to have sex anymore, which he didn't seem to mind.

I mean, our marriage isn't great. He's disconnected in every area of his life except his job. He doesn't take care of his health, his hygiene, or anything else...but his job. He's obsessed with it. He is fine in our marriage as long as I don't say anything and act like I'm happy, but I'm not. I'm miserable. And no, he's not depressed. He's been like this since I met him and honestly, I thought our sex life would get better...but it hasn't.

I'm 52 and don't want to keep living like this. It's unsatisfying emotionally and physically.

Any thoughts appreciated. Thank you